Something that's always been difficult for me is failing. Difficult in all sense of the word - as in it doesn't happen much, and when it does, I don't take it well. I'm not just saying that to brag, honestly. I just don't let it happen. Even worse than failing, I've discovered, is when you only have yourself to blame. Recently, I've noticed more and more that... I'm the only thing standing in my way.
Take the Academy for example. I want to go so bad. It's like this dream - this goal - has become a part of me. There's never a second I'm not thinking about it. God has put me on this earth to do something amazing with my life, I just KNOW it, and I feel in every fibre of my being that going to the Academy will help GET me there. Yet I still hold myself back. I'm not an idiot, I know that getting accepted is hard, yet I've hardly done anything about it. When I attempt, it feels like I'm never doing enough. I could be doing so much MORE and I just waste my time.
I guess this goes with other aspects of my life as well, but I can't help but feel as though I'm letting my dream slip through my fingers. It's frustrating. I've been able to get past almost any obstacle put in my way before, and now I just don't know what to do? How do I stop holding myself back? I wish there was some secret trick, and all I had to do was learn it, and I'd be home free. For some reason, I feel that this is much more complicated than that...
So, moral of the story... Well. I guess I'm still figuring that one out. :/
No comments:
Post a Comment